Asleep all day

I am so tired.

There are only 23 work days left for me, before I go on maternity leave and I'm counting every one.  Did you catch that?  I don't hate this place, but I hate this place... it's all I can do to stay focused.  I feel like I'm drifting in and out of a REM sleep cycle every day.

I send an email, make a phone call and then drift... off to a place where my baby is in my arms and I'm sitting with her at home in her beautiful nursery.   Then I come back to work with a snap, realizing I forgot something important.  Make a phone call, do some paper work and I'm gone again.

Maybe my bosses knew this was coming and that's why they got so distant?  But that can't be right because they've actually been better the last couple months.  They've been keeping me busy, giving me more projects... trying to entice me to come back, I think.

Well, it's a little too late.  I appreciate the effort- but it doesn't make up for the way they acted before.  I'm already halfway out the door and trying not to show it.  It's my daily struggle.  I've stopped wearing makeup.  Stopped shaving my legs... well, they are harder to reach, so I have a small excuse.

Poor Chrissy can see it in me, too.  She's decided to stay here for now.  But, she is taking some jobs and clients on the side.  So, good for her!  It just doesn't help that I'm showing her where my files are, discussing my clients and the scope of their projects so that she can take them over when I leave.  Oh, it's not that I have a ton of clients... it's just the thought that in 5 weeks, I will be gone from this place and she will be 'on her own'.

Oh man, only 5 weeks.  I know it will go by so fast, but I'm dying.  I have ONE project right now that is supposed to be done in 2 weeks and I am so tempted to start 'phasing myself out' immediately afterwards.  Maybe I could cut my last 3 weeks down to 4 days per week?  Maybe, the last 2 weeks I could cut the hours down to 6 or 7 hours a day??  MAYBE, I could just say I need to be home because the exhaustion is too much and just leave a week earlier than planned!

See what I mean?  Here I go, planning my exit strategy when I need to be scheduling a drywall guy for my one job.  If I get this project completed on time, I should be inducted into the 'Mommy-to-be hall of fame'.