MainAttraction

My mom and I are putting wreaths up on etsy.com. We love crafting and we do it fairly often, but we always end up with a lot of stuff laying around afterwards. It seems like we make Christmas wreaths every year though, and after receiving some great comments from friends, we decided to see if they would sell online. So far, we haven’t sold anything from the website. So here’s the link, go buy some wreaths http://www.etsy.com/people/MainAttraction.

Every time I look at the etsy website, it makes me want to grab a paintbrush or some glue and scissors and just start crafting. I can’t remember the last time I painted anything, and it’s actually pretty sad. I love painting and crafting and I feel as though something is missing a little bit. I did purchase a canvas recently that will be perfect for the blank wall above my bed. I even penciled a flower onto it that I want to paint. But it sits in the corner of my room, and the only time I touch it is to move it out of the way. I don't have my painting supplies at my delmartment though. My big easel is at my parents house with all my oil paints, so that might be part of the reason I haven’t started this painting yet. The other part is time, between Boyfriend, horse rescue Saturdays and softball on Tuesdays, I have very little of it left.

The tough thing though is that I love all these time-consuming things too much to cut back on any of them. I think I’ll need to carve out some time a couple days a week to just paint. So I’ve asked for a desk-top easel for Christmas… if they even make those things. I think that’s the only way I will be able to paint in my delmartment. There’s NO WAY that big easel is going to fit into my tiny apartment bedroom… it hardly fits into my bedroom at my parents’ house. Every time I move it around, I knock the popcorn off the ceiling and scratch the walls. In fact, I don’t think I can even get it out of the house. I assembled it IN the bedroom. I think it’s stuck in there.


Anyway, I'll get this painting started soon and hopefully it will restart the fire I had for painting. Maybe I can put those up on etsy someday too.

I'm Unbalanced

Lately I feel like each week consists of only four days. I go to work one day, hang out with boyfriend one day, volunteer at the ranch one day and on the last day I do laundry at my parents’ house.

Then it starts all over again.

I feel as though simple things like, getting my car smog tested, paying a bill, making a doctor appointment or calling the refrigerator repair guy, all turn into a huge 18 step process that will take 6 of the 4 days of my week. Not to mention friends. Who has time for friends anymore?

I’ve realized that I really need to figure out how to balance my life. There are times, like now, where I could be getting something done… like laundry or paying a bill. Or cleaning. I love to clean… and I find that if I add up all those odd hours where I am laying in bed hitting snooze on my alarm, or laying around watching tv, I might actually get another day into my week.

Then maybe I wouldn’t get so stressed out either because I would have more outlets and less piles of crap on my mind that I need to take care of. So, since today was hectic and stressful and got me all worked up and tense, I’ve decided that right now is the best time to test out my theory.

Tonight I am going to get clothes together for my trip this weekend, pack as much as I can and if I need to, even do a load of laundry here at the Delmartment… Then tomorrow morning, I am going to get up early and be waiting outside the car smog station at 7:45, so I’m the first person there when they open at 8. It’s right across the street, so it shouldn’t be too hard to get there in time.

Knowing that I’ve got that much stuff done, should make me feel much better about going into work tomorrow and facing whatever might be laying there waiting for me… about ten minutes before I left the showroom today, I got an email from this lady who works at a tile place we buy from. She said, “what are we doing with this order for you?” I opened the attached document and was very confused for a few minutes until I remembered what client that was for… And remembered that I didn’t order the material. But I was staring right at a sales order that she wrote up.

I remember our conversation on the phone when she must have written the sales order up and I thought the client would need the material ASAP. I was asking her for stock and a quote and to see if we could get the material to the client if they paid that day, bla, bla, bla… but I told her that I would let her know what we decided to do, and that I would send over a purchase order if we wanted to actually order it (but even as I type this, I am hoping that I really didn’t order it).
I’m hoping that she just misunderstood me and that she will say tomorrow, “Oh, okay. Let me know when you want to order it.” Until then, I need to get started on packing



Update:
I packed for a while and then talked to Croomie for about an hour. Believe it or not, this was something I've been meaning to do.

-Talk to Roommate. Check.

-Kinda pack a little bit. Check.

The next morning I was at the smog check place at 7:45 AM. The Transformer passed her smog. Now all I have to do is pay the registration.

-Pass Smog Test. Check.

-Feel as though you are on your way to balancing you life. Check.

Hot-cha-cha-cha

It's hot in my delmartment (that's the city in which I live + the word 'apartment', I think it's pretty catchy), we have no air-conditioner. Only fans. But a fan doesn't do much when the only air to be pushed around is hot air. Every door in this complex is open, I can hear some guys watching the Padre game across the courtyard and my next door neighbors are playing a board game.

It's been hot like this all day. I wore a dress to work today because, a cool crotch is a happy crotch, especially on days like this. I just wish that my face would have benefited from the "draft" I was providing for my other parts. I was a shiny grease-ball all day. Which would have been fine, if two really expensive looking men hadn't walked in after lunch.

They were interested in a (very expensive) slab we have displayed in the front. One guy was saying how, "it would look great on the bar top", and after greeting them both, I learned that he was the new owner of a huge, very popular restaurant/night club in town. They were remodeling and he just got a custom chandelier that would look great with the slab. When I told him that I had a design background, he smiled and asked me where I went to school and we talked about interior design for a while.

Both men were very nice, and they stayed and chatted for quite a while. They were very excited about all of our materials and asked a bunch of questions. Mr. Club Owner's buddy asked if we could make a star shape out of a particular tile. When I told him that we could he said that they could use it on the floor of their other project in Hollywood, which is Walk of Fame themed. I told him how much I liked that idea, and he called over to Mr. Club Owner and said, "She likes that idea!"... it made me feel good that my opinion already meant something to them. Before the two gentlemen left, they handed me their cards and said that they would be back. We all shook hands and as they disappeared around the corner I glanced at the business cards in my hand.

Mr. Club Owner is the CEO of one of the most popular restaurant/nightclubs in Hollywood.

Mr. Club Owner's friend should actually be called Mr. Big Time Movie Producer.


I almost pooped my dress.

I wanted them as contacts very badly, and decided to write them each an email. I just thanked them for coming in and said that I wasn't sure if they had taken a business card with them on their way out, but wanted to shoot them an email so they would have our contact info. I made sure that each email was different enough from the other so that they knew I was talking to each of them separately. Mr. Big Time Movie Producer emailed back right away, he said I was, "so cute" for sending the email and that they, "would be back next week".

I hope they do come back.

My Mom has a magnet on the refrigerator that reads, "If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way." ... she's had that magnet for as long as I can remember, and I've always tried to do things greatly, knowing that all I can do is small things. But I would rather just do great things.

I want to be a part of something big. I don't know what that is yet, but I have a feeling that I get closer to it everyday.

Sign says 'Walk'

I'm kind of lovig my life right now. My job is great so far and I absolutely love my boss. He is just awesome and we pretty much just sit chat all day... yesterday, we sat around after a late lunch, just talking and drinking espresso, and when I finally went back to my desk, it was a quarter to 6! As in, I should have been gone for 45 minutes already. And I wasn't even mad about staying at work late!

It also feels really great to be in an apartment (sorry, Mom)! There's something about having my own space, and taking care of myself that makes me really happy. I've already figured out how to make sure I'm fed all the time; cook in bulk. Well, not a huge amount of food, but just enough so that there are left-overs to eat as another meal. Example: lasagna, Pizza, and.. if you butterfly two chicken breasts- you have four!

So today, I woke up in my comfy, huge bed and walked eight steps to my master bathroom to shower and get ready for work. I drove 10 miles to work, which is half the distance that I used to drive.. and sat there all day with a smile on my face. Then after work, I drove home, went for a run and then I walked to the grocery store with my "Super Independent Meal Plan" in my head. When my purchase was made, I headed back home with my groceries.

I was very pleased with myself at this point, by the way.

But, as I neared the corner, I passed a guy sitting on the sidewalk with a cardboard sign. It read, "Just trying to stay alive". I looked at the grocery bags in my hand and felt almost like I was parading them by him. I reached the corner and pushed the cross walk button, then I peaked back at the man behind me. He was just sitting there, staring at the sidewalk, a whole line of cars in front of him and nobody was paying attention.

I remembered my friend Michelle saying how she would give someone a granola bar or an apple when she passed them (she's a very healthy girl) and how I thought that was so nice. I looked down at my groceries and did a mental inventory. I can't give him my chicken breasts- maybe he has no place to cook it, I doubt he would enjoy an onion, or the mustard. I looked back at him again then back at the cross walk sign, it was still showing a big red hand. Another look at my groceries... then I found it.

I turned and headed back to the man, one hand digging in my bag. As I approached, I held the cup of yogurt out, and he looked up very slowly.. like he had been daydreaming and didn't even notice that someone had passed him by. He looked first into my eyes, and then to my hand. He wasn't very old at all, maybe thirty-something, with thick, coke-bottle glasses and slightly crossed eyes. When he looked at the yogurt... man, you should have seen his face light up. It was all I could do to hold back my tears, as his mouth broke open to a yellow, gapped grin.

I managed to say, "I don't have a spoon for you."

He replied, "It's okay, I have one at my campsite." Then, "Thank you, sweatheart."

I said, "You're welcome." Smiled, then turned away quickly. I knew that if I stayed any longer, I would break down. I hurried back to the corner, the cross walk sign said 'Walk'. I felt every eye on me from the cars that drove by, they had all been waiting at the red light while I handed the man his yogurt. I hoped that some of them might take my example some day, like I took Michelle's.

When I got home, I proceeded to cook my dinner (and ask my Mom some cooking questions)... and the whole time, I debated blogging about this. I thought that it would just come out as bragging, and a good deed, isn't good if it's done for yourself. I'm still not sure why I decided to post about this. All I know, is that for all the things that have made me happy recently, a cup of yogurt could have NEVER made my eyes brighten up as it just did for that man.


... just food for thought.

That's Fancy...

Tuesday was strange. It was my last day working for Scary Lady, and as I walked in, I couldn’t really tell what my feelings were about it. Part of me was excited to be free of it all, while the other part of me was a little sad to be leaving (and I think this speaks more to the fact that I had spent most of my life there for the past three years, than it does to actually missing the place). I was definitely scared to be joining the ranks of the unemployed, and yet I was still a little excited to have some time off.

Mostly I was just glad that I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this anymore- no more laying across coworker #1’s desk to use the phone, no more damn wicker chair, and no more tiptoeing past my boss thinking that she wouldn’t see me if I was quite, and therefore, wouldn’t scream at me. I was pleased that boss-lady had apologized for being a total psycho towards me for the past few months, and even more pleased that she was super nice to me since she laid me off. Overall, I think the positives about no longer working at this place were outweighing the negative and I actually started to get a little giddy as the day went on. So, I kept mostly to myself so as not to offend my coworkers, or Cruela, with my hyper-cheerfulness.

I did a pretty good job of this, until Croomie trespassed into my solitude, “A friend of mine says there is a job opening at Fancy Tile showroom. I’m sending you her email so you can forward your resume. She knows the guy who is hiring so she can get it directly to him.” I shrugged, and said sure. When I got the email, I attached my resume and sent it along, saying thanks for the heads up.

A couple hours later I got a phone call along with a voicemail. I stepped outside to listen to the message. His name was Perry, he was from Fancy Tile and he wanted me to call him regarding my resume.

So I called him back.

Perry wanted to know when I could come into the showroom to meet. I told him that I was leaving tomorrow for the weekend, to climb Mt. Whitney, but I would be back next week, and he can tell me which day would work best for him. He said to call him when I got back into town, “and hopefully we haven’t found somebody to fill the position by then.”

Damn! So I asked him what time they opened in the morning.

I went back to work and at about 4:30pm, Craziness said, “We want to take you out for a drink on your last day”. So, I packed up all my stuff and we headed out to happy hour. We all had a pretty nice time and, as we were saying our goodbyes, Crazy gave me a hug… and started crying. It was awkward. She said that she was really going to miss me and all my hard work and that she was sorry, again, for having to let me go.

I had confused thoughts about Crazy-Lady all the way to may parents’ house, but was eventually able to shake them off and get to work on my portfolio. I was up until 1am, and only slept until my alarm went off at 5am- when I promptly got up, and went to Kinko’s to print my portfolio. I sped back to my parents’ house and gathered everything that I needed for the weekend hike and threw it all in my trunk. I was still sort of ‘in between homes’ and had some clothes at my parents’ place and some at the apartment.

I raced back to my apartment to shower, get dressed and pack the rest of my hiking gear. I shoved all my prints into a nicely bound binder, before heading to the interview, and arrived with 5 minutes to spare.

An hour and a half later (after a pretty rock-solid interview) I was flying back to the apartment to throw on some jeans and a T-shirt. I put on the first T-shirt that I found, which happened to be a FCUK shirt, French Connection U.K, and then grabbed all my bags and lugged them down the three flights of stairs to my car. I unlocked the driver’s side door, threw my purse in and then ran back to unlock the trunk and stuff it full of hiking bags. About two seconds after slamming my trunk, I realized that I had no keys in my hand for which to start the car… ugh, trunk! After climbing through the backseat, pointing my ass to traffic, and moving bags around for a good four minutes, I finally retrieved the keys.

When I arrived at Boyfriend’s house, I could tell that he was a little irritated that I was late, and I was irritated that he was irritated, which lead to a slightly dramatic unloading of my trunk. But we were both fine once we hit the road for the 5 ½ hours it takes to get to Lone Pine.

We arrived at our campsite, as did our friends shortly after, and we all started setting up camp. It was when we began unloading the bags that I realized something was missing. “Where’s my green bag?”

Boyfriend replied, “What green bag?”

Great.

When I told him that I couldn’t find the bag that contained ALL my clothes for the whole weekend, he just laughed. Thanks, Boyfriend. I racked my brain trying to figure out where it might be, if it wasn’t here. I remembered dragging it down the stairs, because it was heavy and I thought I was going to pass out on the way… I remember taking it off my shoulder to put in the trunk…

Then I remembered: when I was climbing through my car, like a confused mole rat, to get the keys out of the trunk, I moved the bag out of the way. I told Boyfriend that I must have moved it behind something, that didn’t go with me on the trip, and then didn’t see it when I was unloading.

Boyfriend said, “Aww, haha! I can’t believe you forgot your bag!”

I glared back, “Well, it’s your fault! If you hadn’t been so irritated with me for being a few minutes late, I would have taken my time getting stuff out of my trunk!”

He laughed harder, “Wait. It’s my fault now? Hang on, I gotta get this documented!” He pulled out his camera and pointed it at me, “Okay, it’s rolling… so, repeat that last thing you just said about who’s fault it is that your bag got left in your trunk!”

So I did.

Aside from having to wear my FCUK shirt around everywhere, and getting stared at, the rest of the week went pretty well. I was able to borrow enough clothes and make a few small purchases, to get all necessary hiking gear. And let me just say, anyone who is healthy and fit enough to hike Mt. Whitney better do it. It is the most incredible experience I’ve ever had. The mountain is just gorgeous and there’s something sort of magical when you realize that you’ve accomplished something that very few people can. For once in a LONG time, I was able to forget my work-related dramas.

The ‘high’ lasted all the way home, and all the next day. When Monday rolled around, I called Perry from Fancy Tile, as he requested. I don’t remember everything that was said in that conversation, nor do I remember the one right after- but the one part that stuck out to me was, “When can you start?”

Yeeahhh, bitches!

I am now the newest employee of Fancy Tile Showroom. And although my first day (today) wasn’t too exciting or eventful, I am confident that it will be one day. Things always start slow as you’re learning, and there is a lot to learn, but they hired me for my design background. They want someone who can potentially help a client with every aspect of their home, because they want to explore different avenues- like lighting, wood flooring, cabinetry. I may not be designing anything right away, but the potential is there.

Plus, I already feel a million times more important than I did with Psycho-Pants. Perry needs me there, and eventually, expects me to be able to take care of things on my own. Design on my own, if the client wants… recommend an area rug if that’s something they need.

Look, first and foremost, I will be a sales-person for Fancy Tile and Perry’s right hand. I don’t know if this will work for me in the long-run, or if I will even like it… but it seems promising, they need me, I’m no longer a ‘design assistant’ like I was before (that position just left a bad taste in my mouth) and….. I GET A MOTHER-F*CKING DESK!

My week in emails

From: Pluck
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 10:39 AM
To: Jennifer
Subject: Re: Question for you

Hey Jen!
Suzie called me last night, she was so helpful! It really meant a lot to me that she took the time out of her busy schedule to look over my resume, and give me some really valuable advice. So, thank you so much for thinking of contacting her! The timing was interesting too, as I was laid off yesterday. My last day of work is Tuesday, so now I am definitely on the hunt for a job and her advice will help me out a lot. Talk soon, Pluck


From: Jennifer
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010 10:47:12 AM
To: Pluck
Subject: RE: Question for you

Hi Pluck,
I have been meaning to email you back from the other day. Oh, I’m so sorry they laid you off but you were miserable anyway there, right? Ugh, that sucks, regardless. You will find something soon I’m sure, and at least now you have more time to focus more on job hunting! Did Suzie give you any ideas of companies to give your resume to? I will keep asking around here to see if I can find anybody else who can help you... Let’s keep in touch, and hang in there!


From: Pluck
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 11:02 AM
To: Jennifer
Subject: Re: Question for you

Yeah, I was hating it here, so I guess it's a blessing in disguise. But you are right, I will have all the time in the world to find a new job! Actually my neighbor told me that his law firm is looking for a new secretary, it isn't what I went to school for but at least I would be getting income.


From: Jennifer
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010 11:46:42 AM
To: Pluck
Subject: RE: Question for you

Good luck with the law firm job, I’ll keep my eye out for other stuff, too…you’ll find something I’m sure. And, there are so many people that end up in totally different industries than what they went to school for…you might find something you like better or it will be a good way to pass the time until your industry picks up a bit more!


From: Pluck
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 12:21 PM
To: Jennifer
Subject: Re: Question for you

Exactly. I'm worried, but not too worried that I feel like I need to get out of the lease I JUST signed... kind of upset because my boss knew that I was getting an apartment and she also knew that she was going to let me go, but she never said anything. Then waited until I was taking 3 days off to do Whitney, so I don't even get a full week for my paycheck.


From: Jennifer
To: Pluck
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010 2:14:15 PM
Subject: RE: Question for you

Wow, what is wrong with that woman?? I didn’t know you got a place, where is it?? That hike sounds fun, and quite the challenge! What a cool way to celebrate your birthday! Happy early birthday if I don’t see you before! J


From: Pluck
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 2:42 PM
To: Jennifer
Subject: Re: Question for you

Don't even get me started on that woman. Right after she said her whole speech about letting me go (and by the way, my coworkers were in the room too) she said that she had a friend who was frustrated with an employee- so she asked her friend if she would want to hire me, weeks before. Then, she and my coworkers started brainstorming places of employment for me, which was getting really frustrating, even though I know they were trying to be helpful. So, I told them that I was fine and not to worry about it. My boss' response was, "Oh, it's GOING to be hard on you. I don't want you to think that it won't be hard, and that you wont be struggling." Uhhh?? Anyway, my place is actually across the street from Dave. My roommate found it, but it's a good deal! 2 bed, 2 bath, washer/dryer for $1349/Mo. Thanks for the birthday wishes!


From: Jennifer
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010 4:36:18 PM
To: Pluck
Subject: RE: Question for you

Are you kidding me? She is so weird. As you know, I have never been very fond of her. She just seems really awkward and inappropriate. I can’t believe she would lay you off in front of the other employees. Isn’t there some sort of law against that? And she is crazy if she thinks you won’t find a better job than working for her! She really bugs me. There are much better jobs out there, and I can’t wait until you get an awesome one and you’ll be so glad you don’t have to deal with her anymore. I hope she has at least offered to be a reference for you?


From:Pluck
To: Jennifer
Sent: Thu, July 22, 2010 4:40:36 PM
Subject: RE: Question for you

Yeah, it was kind of embarrassing- especially when they were all talking about me filing for unemployment. But they were going to find out anyway, and I'm glad that it wasn't one on one. It would have been more awkward that way because I don't think either one of us is really comfortable with the other.
She didn't offer up herself as a reference exactly, but I feel confidant that I can use her as a one. I think she knows how much this sucks for me, and will help me get a new job because it would ease her conscience.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Bridget
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:25 AM
To: Pluck's Mom; Rosie; Peg
Subject: RE: scrapbooking

So I guess I have to flake out once again, my daughter enlisted me as a chaperone for the movies with her friends. One day I will be back to join my scrap girls! Miss you! -Bridget


From: Pluck's Mom
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:46 AMTo: Bridget; Rosie; Peg
Subject: RE: scrapbooking

Oh noooooooo!! And I just told Pluck last night that all my girls would be there and she was so excited (well, as excited as someone can be on a day when they lose their job).
-Pluck's Mom

From: Bridget
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:50 AM
To: Pluck's Mom; Rosie; Peg
Subject: RE: scrapbooking

What the heck happened to Pluck! I saw her blogpost recently but I didn't think she would lose her job! -Bridget


From: Pluck's Mom
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:53 AMTo: Bridget; Rosie; Peg
Subject: RE: scrapbooking

Well the bitch claimed financial reasons but she's had it out for Pluck for a long time. Hopefully it will all turn out and she will find something way better. In the meantime she will find whatever job she can until she can land another design position.~~Pluck's Mom


From: Bridget
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:58 AM
To: Pluck's Mom; Rosie; Peg
Subject: RE: scrapbooking

She sounded like a piece of work! I can't believe she treated our sweet Pluck like that.

From: Rosie
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 11:48 AM
To: Pluck's Mom; Bridget; Peg
Subject: Re: scrapbooking

What about the apartment she was going to rent?- Rosie

From: Pluck's Mom
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2010 12:47 PM
To: Rosie; Bridget; Peg
Subject: RE: scrapbooking

She's already signed the lease so she's going to be struggling for a while until a job comes up. Meanwhile she will file for unemployment and beat the streets. Everyone keep your fingers and toes crossed and if you come up with any leads please forward them.

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Mo:
July 22 at 10:27am
Pluck...what happened? Did this all go down yesterday?

Pluck:
July 22 at 11:51am
Yes. At the end of the day, she called us all into the conference room saying she had some things to talk to us about. She said that the past couple weeks/month she has been very cranky and mean. She said that she's never been that way in her life (yeah, right) and that she has to apologize because she's been taking out on me- because I sit right next to her.
Then she started talking about how the business hasn't been making profit and that she's been feeding the business with her own money. She said should have done this a year ago but she wasn't being honest with herself. She wanted to cut hours because she can't afford 3 full time employees, so she was going to have my roommate and I come in part time. She was all prepared on Monday to do that, but then when I wasn't there, it became apparent that she needed to just let me go
Which is funny because, the reason I was out Monday and Tuesday is because the thought of coming into work made me physically sick.
So anyway, she was all apologetic and I was trying not to cry- but it didn't work, I was huffing like a baby. She said that it wasn't anything personal, she just couldn't afford it. She also apologized to my roomie because now she has to worry about me paying my rent on time. She-devil said that when she heard we were getting the apartment, she wanted to say something but it was too late- meaning that she has been wanting to let me go for a whole month and hasn't said anything, or given me a head's up. And now, she said that I can still work through the end of the month, but I am taking 3 days off next week for our big hike, that I've been planning for months. So instead of getting the standard two weeks, I get 5 days (Including yesterday and the rest of this week). I told her that I understand, and that I knew that times were hard and how I appreciate her keeping me on for so long through the economic struggles.
Just trying to be gracious.
Then because I had nothing to do yesterday- I asked if she even wanted me to come in anymore and she said, "Of course! I'm not FIRING you!" All sweet as pie... But I'm a little bitter because she knew she was going to do this and she waited until I was already in the apartment and then going on vacation. Easier for her I'm sure. But she did say that I could ask our reps for some suggestions or contacts to get a new job...
But that's pretty much the gist of it. My neighbor told me that his company was trying to find a receptionist or something, so he would see if they still needed one.
So Saturday, I will start looking for a design job. I found a few places that look interesting. Oh, and next Friday is my birthday. This isn't where I thought I would be at 25... unemployed. Yay.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that she said the reason she was letting me go versus either of the other girls was that she, "has to go in order of the way we were hired.." meaning last on, first to go. And that she needs the autocad, "and Croomie has a feel for that. And I've just come to rely on the other two more than you. Your position was to be my assistant, and now I will just have to do all that stuff on my own." Even though, when Croomie was out having neck surgery, I took all of her responsibilities and added them to my own! My other coworker does quickbooks and billing and stuff, and I am able to handle that stuff when she is gone too.

Mo:
22 at 12:42pm
well Pluck...First off... I think she is acting nice towards you so she doesnt look like the bad guy. A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT. Its like you put all the pieces together. Ya know? She should have made sure she was saying things that covered her ass, not make it sound like shes been wanting to let you go for a month now. You dont drag that kind of stuff on. If you are going to be a boss you must have integrity and confrontational skills. Just say what you gotta say and stop wasting the other persons time you know? I would collect unemployment for a little while just to cover your obligations. Do that while you are looking for another job. Hopefully that receptionist job will be available! I just want you to know that you are a good person and you are very reliable. You deserve a job that wont make you sick. Maybe this was a good thing for you. You have a sense of being 'free' from the job from hell. But you will stress about finding another job. At least you wont be sick anymore. Can I help with anything?

Pluck:
July 22 at 12:52pm
No.. I don't think so. You got any money?

Pluck:
July 22 at 1:05pm
Kidding....

Oye... let's get all caught up with my life so far:

A couple months ago, coworker #2 asked if I wanted to move in with her when her lease was up in July- she wanted to move closer to work, and her old rommie was moving out. I said, "Sure." and then didn't really think too much about it after that, because it was "months away"... I had been wanting to move out for a long time and actually, my goal was to get into an apartment before my 25th birthday at the end of this month, so I knew it was coming soon, I just didn't realize how soon.
Three weeks ago, my coworker/roommate (or Croomie- if you will) saw an ad for an apartment that she liked, and two days later we were filling out lease applications. The following week we were told that the apartment was ours and then the next day, we were picking up the keys.
Now, I know that this is exciting news and something that I probably should have blogged about right away. However, my boyfriend and I have a big hike planned for the end of the month that we have been trying to get ready for, and most of my spare time has been spent moving my stuff in to the new apartment (which I am still working on). So, the new news is that Pluck will be on her own very soon... if I can ever finish getting my crap moved.

The old news is that my boss is still a raving lunatic. The week that Croomie and I signed the lease, biz-natch (that's slang for the "B" word) flipped out on me over some AutoCAD drawings. Now, I thought that I had understood what it was she was asking me to do, but figured that the drawings would still need some adjustments which, is why I was showing them to her and asking if they were okay.

And, apparently they weren't.

And evidently, I am also an idiot, because she thought she had, "MADE IT CLEAR!!!!!", what it was that she wanted. So when I tried to clarify things again, she started in with the insults, "I thought that was the obvious way to do it but I guess it's not! I mean why wouldn't you get that?!" It was like her words were sharp blades being flung at me, and with every one, I was cut down. Smaller and smaller. She ended her rant with, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I WANT?!"

This attitude she had towards me continued for the next couple days, and when I showed up to work on Friday, I was completely drained. I had a hard time waking up, and my stomach was aching. I came in a couple minutes late and when I told coworker #1 that I wasn't feeling well, her response was, "Well, you probably just want this to stop. I mean this thing with the boss has been going on for a few days now and I bet you are just tired of it, and want it to end."

Stop the train, and let me off.

I am not crazy.

"So, you see it too?! She does treat me like crap?" We talked for a few minutes about how neither of us knew why the boss was acting psycho towards me. Which didn't get me far, but coworker #1 said that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to talk to her about it (like my boyfriend has suggested in the past). She had seen an old employee approach my boss for a 'conversation' and according to coworker #1, it did NOT go so well.

Luckily, Friday was Friday and then the weekend came- but good Lord, last week sucked too!

I was working on closing out a contract that I had written up for a client, when I spotted a mistake. My stomach hit the ground and I started to sweat instantly. I had looked over that contract twenty times (probably literally, twenty times, because I am paranoid that I will screw up and piss off Vampira) and I still missed something. I showed coworker #1 and we tried to see how we could solve the problem... but it wasn't going to happen. I had mistakenly given our client the net cost of an item, and now my boss was going to make $700 less on the contract.

I emailed my Mom, "I might lose my job today. I'll keep you posted".

When the boss came in, I took a deep breath, and told her what I had discovered. She, of course, was not happy and made it very clear how angry she was. I apologized a number of times, but she didn't really speak to me for the rest of the day, but she also didn't fire me. I decided that I would send her an email after work, just to make sure she knew that I was sorry and that I understood how serious the mistake was... I also added in that I would accept all repercussions. I thought this sentence would open the door for her to fire me because, I was pretty confused about why she hadn't done it already.
As I told my boyfriend later that night; I sit right next to this woman. I have been on her shit list many times before, and it is uncomfortable. I can feel her anger, and it makes me more stressed and tense at work than I usually am. If she wants to fire me, then I want her to fire me. I figured that maybe she didn't feel right doing it in front of my coworkers, or that she was trying to decide if that was the right punishment.... but why prolong the pain?

I still had a job the next day, and the day after that as well... and though she didn't fire me, or allude to wanting to fire me, she definitely made me wonder. The rest of the week, we exchanged few words, and she would tell coworker #1 to, "have Pluck do this" or ask Croomie to "tell Pluck to email that"... even though each time, I was sitting right there. She was also having me send things to my coworkers, so that they could complete the projects. Sort of like, taking work away from me... I have nothing to do when I go to work tomorrow and part of me thinks that might be her plan.

I know that I need a new job, and I have needed one for awhile... Before, this job sucked, and my boss was mean and I wasn't getting any respect- but I was sticking it out so I could finish my portfolio. Now, this job is hell, my boss treats me like a child and it's hard to walk in there everyday- but I have rent to pay, and can't afford to lose the income. My portfolio is nearly complete, just a few more tweaks, and it will be good to go. I am so busy right now, with all the stuff going on in my life, but I have GOT to make time to look for a new job this week.

I can't go in there everyday and get treated the way I do. It's beyond annoying now. It's actually ruining my health- I am constantly nervous and antsy, even when I'm at home. Right now, I am thinking about ways I can get out of work tomorrow, just so I don't have to deal with the crap.

I am also thinking about stuff I can pack in my car to bring to the apartment in the morning, and how I have to take the car to the body shop tomorrow (and get a rental) because it went all transformer on me again, and was hit by yet another car. I've got dinner with boyfriend and his parents on Tuesday, I have a chair that needs to be recovered this week so I can take it to the apartment, and I still don't know when I will get to sleep there for the first time... Croomie is already moved in, and I am starting to get anxious about getting all my stuff in there. Boyfriend and I are climbing Mt. Whitney on my birthday and my hiking shoes still aren't broken it, plus, I am starting to catch a cold with all this stress and ...I JUST WANT THE ROOM TO STOP SPINNING SO I CAN GO TO BED!

Hallelujah!

I think it's done. I made my last page at about 11:45pm and spent the last half hour putting it into PowerPoint... now I'm wondering why it took me so long to finish it. There's nothing too special about it, I may just be tired of looking at it, but I might need to tweak it a bit more...

Anywho, when I opened the Internet so that I could blog about this special moment (very lackluster here... it's already tomorrow and I'm having trouble keeping my eyeballs out from under their eyelid blankets) I saw this article: http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-666-Workplace-Issues-10-Attitudes-of-Successful-Workers/?sc_extcmp=JS_666_home&SiteId=cbmsnhp4666&ArticleID=666&gt1=23000&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=f447b933a60b4d069db41cae0f73ac45-331096788-R2-4

It talks about how to be successful at work; apparently it's all about attitude (you should have seen the attitude I had when asked how my day was... ).

Maybe it's a sign. Which I will analyze later- I'm freaking tired, man.

Nope, still here.

Got nothin'. Except for the same crummy job... nobody has responded to my resume yet.

So give me a few minutes alone to sing Total Eclipse of The Heart, and drink a beer... then I will get to work on this damn portfolio. Because dammit, Bonnie Tyler is right; forever is gonna start tonight.

A weekend away

I spent this weekend back in my hometown with family. Some of them, I haven't seen in years and some that I just met for the very first time ever. It warmed my heart and lifted my spirits to be able to sit and talk to these people that I love so much. To be able to hold them in a tight embrace meant so much to me. It felt as though something bad that had been clinging to me for a long time, had just dissolved away.

When it came time to leave, I cried like a baby. I hated that the vacation was so short and I hated the fact that it might be a while before I can make it back to my family. But what I hated most of all was that I was going back to the 'grind'. I had been so free and easy all weekend and in the morning on the day I was leaving, I woke up feeling heavy. I paced around and wrung my hands, and dreaded the thought that the next day I would be sitting in that damn wicker chair.

Then it donned on me; It doesn't matter what happens in that office. What matters is what's outside that office. Even if I got fired tomorrow, even if I made some giant, un-fixable mistake- my family wouldn't care. They wouldn't leave and they wouldn't judge me. I could have any old job and nobody would even think twice about it... so why do I care so much what my boss thinks of me? She's not my family, she doesn't love me unconditionally.

The thought was comforting as I sat in the airport, and though I was sad to leave, I was happy to know that I can take the love of my family with me wherever I go. That feeling stayed with me all through work the next day, and then again the following day (yesterday) and again today. Work was actually not the nightmare that it usually was for me. It was actually quite tollerable. Now, granted, my boss wasn't flying around on her broomstick at all, which probably helped some... but as the day came to a close, I found that I was pretty content with my situation. Everyone has bad days or weeks, but I am so much better off than some people that I need to be thankful for the job that I do have. And I appreciate my boss too, for keeping me around when times were tough. I know she has a good heart, and I don't think as little of her as I probably sound like I do.

All these thoughts swam warmly through my euphoric little brain, as I checked my email one last time and noticed my friend's name in my email inbox. This is the friend, that works for a construction company, who said he would check his contacts to see if anyone was hiring. I hadn't heard from him in a couple weeks, so I read the email:

"I have some leads for you with a great company. Do you have a resume that I can forward?"

HELL YEAH I DO! SCREW THIS PLACE, I'M OUT!

Back to the start

Just an update on the portfolio situation:

I finally had a few hours to sit at the computer tonight, and it turns out that I only needed to replace three pages. There's a lot of photoshop files that won't open, but I saved jpeg copies of them. So, if they don't need any last minute tweaking then those should work for the portfolio- otherwise I would have to recreate them in photoshop... but I think I'm probably good. It took a couple hours but I am almost back to where I was. I need to scan a couple pictures that were lost, and stick them in their spots but it will probably be a ten minute job.

I still won't be done though. I have one last project that I for sure want to put in my portfolio, and it happens to be the biggest, most important one. It's my last project, the senior project and I don't want to screw it up.

So much for getting my portfolio done by Mother's Day.

So, here are a few images, they are all from different projects but at least it gives an idea:

For. The. Love.

Last Monday at work was busy. We had a huge presentation the following morning to get ready for, and my boss had waited until the last minute to work on this client's stuff. So, obviously there was a lot to be done, and we were working feverishly. Usually on Mondays, we workout with a trainer. Only one of my coworkers doesn't work out, and it's the girl that just had the neck surgery. On this particular Monday, I thought it was a bad idea to do the workout because of the work that needed to be done to prepare for the meeting. I was already figuring that I would be taking some work home with me. I voiced my opinion and my other coworker agreed that it probably wasn't a good idea for us to go.

My boss, however, told us that we can make it because we were almost done setting everything up. When the time came to leave the office for the workout, my boss said we were good to go. I felt relieved (and lucky) to have gotten mostly everything done. There was only one item than I emailed to myself to work on at home. So, we said goodbye to coworker #2 and we headed off to the workout. After an hour of sweating our balls off, we patted ourselves on the back, said goodbye and got into our cars.

When I got home, I ate a quick dinner then went upstairs to start on the "homework" that I had emailed myself. Realizing that I wouldn't be able to complete the work because I was missing some key things back at the office, I did as much as I could do and then put the work aside. I knew it wouldn't take long to get the rest done once I got to the office in the morning. It was about 9:30 at this point and I figured that, as long as I was on the computer, I might as well do some of my portfolio.

I opened photoshop, turned my I-pod on and searched for the file I had last worked on.

It was gone.

I tried again.

Still gone.

In fact, they were all gone! Every single file from my portfolio was not where I had put it. The whole folder was empty! All of my scans, all of my photoshopped images. All gone!

Cold sweat covered my whole body and a sick feeling crept into my stomach. I called my Dad over to the computer to see if he could help me find them. I thought that maybe there was some photoshop trick that I didn't know about. Like a game or something where photoshop hides your files from you while you search for them in a panic. Then when you are near the breaking point, they pop up and photoshop laughs and says, "I got you! Wasn't that fun?"

No.



We checked every file, every folder in every possible location on the computer... even those temporary ones with the funny names. Then I lost it. I found myself slumped on my bedroom floor in an uber-dramatic cry. I huffed to my boyfriend on the phone about how much work was lost. Then I started preparing to cry myself to sleep, when I heard my parents talking in the computer room. I popped my head in to see that they were still searching for my lost files. Awww...

My Dad swore there was still one last place to check, and my Mom was waiting patiently to try her trick. Mom won. She downloaded some flash drive recovery software, and we watched as file after file started magically appearing. Once they were re-saved, my Mom suggested that I check to make sure that I go them all. I opened one, opened another, then opened a third. Then called it good and went to bed.
(I still don't know if they've all been recovered, but at least I know for sure that I have 3...)

Tuesday.
Yes, only Tuesday. I got into the office ready to finish up the "homework" that I couldn't complete the night before. My boss was already there setting up the conference room. She sent me a text message the night before saying something about a note on my "desk" (wobbly table) to be taken care of first thing in the morning. Obviously, checking text messages was the furthest thing from my mind, when I was in the midst of a portfolio catastrophe, so I didn't see the message until I woke up.

I headed straight for my "desk" and found the note. However there was nothing to accompany the note. I read it again and looked around to see if maybe the note had been knocked off whatever it was referring to, but there was nothing there. I called out to my boss, "What is this note referring to?"
Boss: "Don't worry, I'M doing it. AND the girls stayed late last night to do all the work that YOU should have done!"
Me: "What? ...You guys came back to the office after the workout?? I didn't know we were going to do that."
Boss: "I CALLED you!"
Me: (looking through my phone) "I don't have a missed call though..."
Boss: "I left you a message!!". (imagine a really pissed off snake, just spitting the words out through very tightly clenched teeth)
Me: "But I don't have a voicemail either..."
Boss: "It only makes sense to call coworker #2, to see if she needed any help at the office. I mean she had A LOT left to do, so we came back to help!"
Me: " " (That's me, speechless) "I'm sorry, I never got anything from you."
Boss: "Whatever"

I was shaking at this point. I had never seen her in this mood, it was like... hatred.

So, coworker #2 decides to finally show up to the office, and I'm feeling pretty lousy at this point so, I turned to her and said, "Coworker #2, I am really sorry that you guys were here so late, I never got a -"
Boss: "YOUR VOICEMAIL CAME ON. I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE!"
Me: "I don't have anything though! I never got a call!"
Boss: "Well, then I don't know what's going on with your phone because I know I left you a message!" (seething, oily hatred spewing from her mouth)
Coworker #2: "Um... that happened to my boyfriend once before...?" (Thanks, coworker #2, good effort).

Boss goes back to the conference room, and coworker #2 and I exchange 'WTF?!' looks. I was shaking so bad that I could hardly type, and my brain was all foggy. I kept checking back through my phone thinking that maybe I missed something. But nope.
I have a Blackberry, and those of you who have one too, know that there is NO WAY you can get a missed call and not hear about it through 5 or 6 annoying icons. I was absolutely positive that I had never received a call, or was left a voicemail. I still am. I even checked with Verizon online and there is no record of a call or message from my boss. None.
The rest of Tuesday went on rather uneventfully, my boss and I just avoided any unnecessary communication and she seemed to be back to normal. Which isn't really saying much.

That night I had plans with my boyfriend, when I told him the story, he was upset that I let her treat me like that. I tried to explain the way my brain shuts down when people yell at me, but he wasn't buying it. He told me that I needed to just tell her the next day that ignoring a voicemail and leaving my coworkers to do all the work was not my M.O. He got me all fired up to go back the next day and say something to my boss.

I chickened out.

She was totally normal the next day, and wasn't treating me badly at all. There was still a little tension between us, but nothing to make me want to try and clear the air. I didn't get a chance alone with her either, and this wasn't something to do in front of other people. I told myself that it was water under the bridge, and to bring it up now would only be drudging up the past. Sadly, I knew I was just talking myself out of confronting her because I am terrified of my boss... I mean I couldn't even find a way to bring up the fact that while they were working in the office, I was working at home.

And so went the rest of the week. I had a busy weekend at the ranch, and then back to work on Monday. Which was fine, and so was Tuesday. Then yesterday came around and slapped my week in the face.

Last year, we quoted some fancy pulls for a client. They were quoted in the standard brass color. My boss didn't like this, and asked me to find out how much the nickel finish was. There were all these upcharges and minimums for the nickel finish, and my boss liked that even less. Flash forward to Wednesday (a year later). I am getting ready to order these fancy pulls when I notice that the finish on the autoCAD drawings is called out as polished nickel. I asked coworker #2, and she confirmed that my boss had recently told her that, "Those changed to polished nickel." Immediately my heart jumped into my throat. I wasn't sure why I hadn't been made aware of that change. If I made a mistake somewhere, I was bound to hear about it. I frantically searched through all my old paperwork. All I found was my notes from last year about the upcharges for the nickel finish, and how we stuck with brass.

My boss was out of town for the day but she called to check in. So, I hesitantly took the phone and began my schpeel about the callout on the drawings being wrong. She interrupted with, "Oh, I know. The standard color was the one we wanted. It will work fine".
Me: "Oh, okay that's good then."
Boss: "Yeah.. the standard is like the nickel or something."
Me: "Uh... no. It's brass, actually."
Boss: "Brass? I thought it was nickel? Call them back and ask for the nickel finish, and get a finish sample. I'll look at it when I come back." (*click)
Coworker #2: "SO, how'd it go?"
Me: "Um. Pretty good actually...? She didn't seem that upset. I just have to call and see if there is another standard, but I really don't think there is."

There wasn't.

It's always only been brass. Just like all my paperwork said. Still a little nervous about my boss getting angry, I looked around and found a source that would sell the same pulls for less. At least I could help alleviate some of the damage by finding a better deal on the upcharge, right?

WRONG!

This morning my boss came in the office like a thirsty bat. "WHAT'S THE FINISH?!"
Me: "Well, it's brass. That's the only standard they have. But-"
Boss: "No it's not! I distinctly remember they had a nickel standard! We wouldn't quote a brass!"
Me: "The reason we stuck with the brass was because the other finishes had upcharges and minimums."
Boss: "No, I don't think so!"
Me: (At the point where I should just try to show her my semi-solution because I can't reason with an unreasonable person) "Well, this other place will give us a better price so I am waiting for a quote."
Boss: "This should have been checked before the contract went out! Not after!!"
Me: "I didn't have anything telling me that the finish could possibly be wrong, and that I should check it out. I just happened to see that-"
Boss: "WE WOULDN'T QUOTE THAT FINISH! It doesn't make sense! These things need to be checked before we send contracts out!"
Me: "I don't have anything saying nickel. We kept it as the standard, so I don't know what would have made me check before-"
Boss: "WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK AND FORTH ABOUT THIS!!!" (Giant drooling ogre)

(... with one tooth)

I was so frustrated and angry and hurt. I knew this was not my fault, and I was not going to back down on this one! Both coworker #1 and #2 agreed that it wasn't my fault. I'm not in my boss' head to know what she is thinking, there was nothing to tell me that she thought the standard finish was different than it actually was. The only reason I would check, is if something had changed down the road. But 'standard' was all it ever was.

Luckily my boss had an appointment to go to, because I wasn't sure how long I would last sharing the same air as her. I immediately wrote my boyfriend an email, saying that I was done with this place. Finished portfolio or not, I had to start looking for a way out now. So, then I sent an email to an acquaintance of mine. He works for a large construction company, and had told me before that he would be more than willing to help me find some leads to get a new job.

He emailed right back, asked a few questions, then got right back again and said that he had already sent out a few emails and made a couple calls. In a matter of minutes.

I almost cried.

I'm not going to know right away if anything will come of this, but it just made me feel really good to know that there was a chance of freedom. It definitely made my heart a little lighter. The other good thing was that my boss came back in a slightly better mood. I showed her the quote I'd gotten back for the less expensive pulls, and she said that was fine to order.

After the way this week and the week before went, I was so ready to get home today. I could just feel the stress sitting in the various parts of my body, and I needed to unwind, big time. I stayed a little late because my boss has a meeting tomorrow morning, but I just kept telling myself that I only have one more day before the weekend. I kept that thought in my head as I made my way to my car, tomorrow is Friday, tomorrow is Friday... I piled all my stuff into the car and took a deep breath. Put the key in the ignition and reeeeer-reer-re-- click, click, click.



Forehead to steering wheel. For. The. Love. Of....!


(Good thing I just needed a jump)

Portfolio-fest

It's Portfolio-fest today!
I'm just getting started this morning, but I did get a head start last night...

6 pages! Boo-ya! But that's enough for now, I've got to get started.... let the festivities begin!

Or, you know, just portfolio stuff.

I will totally regret this Post next Sunday

So I finally got back on Photoshop to work on my portfolio Wednesday night. I focused on one class project, and I got four pages done (woo-hoo). I think all I need is two more to complete this section, then I can move on to a different project. Even though I still have a long, long way to go, it felt really good to get those pages done, like I was finally back on track with it all. I felt like how Superman must feel when he picks up something heavy for someone who needed... the heavy thing picked up and put somewhere else...(I was going to relate it to saving a life, but let's be realistic here). Anyway, I'm hoping to get the pages for this project complete by Saturday night so I can move on again, but it will most likely be Sunday morning since my Saturdays are shot now...


Remember my 4-8 hrs of volunteer work for the animal rescue? Ya, it's more like 12hrs. I leave my house at 8:30am and I don't get back until after 9pm. Completely exhausted and covered in horse poo. Like I literally come home with horse poo-flakes in my hair and down my shirt (itchy) because I haven't quite learned the shit throwing techniques. You got to get the poo into the wheel barrow by chucking it with the rake.... I kinda chuck it against the wind and it flies back at me. So my Saturdays are not mine anymore. I've totally given them up. But you know what?


I don't care.


I freaking love the place and I look forward to it every week, and I miss it when I'm gone... even the poo. The people there are awesome, the animals are great and I just really like feeling appreciated. I get hugs and thank you's. Which should be a normal thing, but unfortunately for me, it's like a breath of fresh air since every other day of the week, I'm usually floating somewhere in between being completely ignored and getting my head bitten off for some teeny mistake.


Whenever that happens, I just think of those sweet animals and how happy they make me... it works for about two seconds then I'm back to being hurt. Just this past week I think there were two times where my brain was screaming from inside my skull, "I HATE THIS STUPID PLACE!!" After the second time, I wrote my Mom an email and told her that I would have my portfolio done by Mother's day because I don't think I can stand to be working for this place much longer... (honestly, I do want to start looking for a new job in May). I am getting better though, after a few hours I'm not upset about it anymore, but I definitely want to try hard to get my portfolio done by Mother's day.

I mean I said it to my Mom for the love.... I kinda have to get it done now.

I'm realizing that this blog post really isn't too exciting today... sooo, here's a picture of a horse:






















Seriously though, this is Morgan and I love her. She is a rescue. Her previous owner would pull her down by her mane, tie her up with ropes staked to the ground just to trim her hooves. When she got to the ranch, she would literally throw herself up against the side of her stall to get as far away as possible from whoever was walking by on the other side... She is a million times better now though. She lets people pet her, if she gets to know you (the ranch hand says that she loves me because she lets me pet her almost all over her body... little skittish about the back) and she doesn't run away from anyone. We still can't groom her though- she's a little freaky about that.

I keep telling her that I will brush her someday.


But, I also keep telling myself that I will get my stupid portfolio done someday... maybe if I worked on it for 12hrs straight, I could- oh! What am I doing next Sunday? This might be a possibility... and I could blog updates as I go. I'm suddenly very excited... alright just plugged it into my blackberry- Portfolio-fest Sunday May 2nd.

crap.

There's hoof prints in my chocolate

I washed a zebra last Saturday.

Seriously.

I scrubbed him down from mane to tail and back again. Zinty the zebra is rehabbing from a broken his pelvis, so he is a bit calmer than a regular zebra. He lives at a horse rescue that I started volunteering for. My first day was last Saturday, and I love it so far.This was my big news from the last blog!

I've always wanted to work with horses, specifically rescues, ever since I saw a thoroughbred get put down on a track because he broke his leg. Actually, I've always been a little crazy about horses. I'm not sure when the infatuation started, or why. My family has never owned horses and I wasn't really raised around them. But when I was little, I would stare out the window of the car and picture myself riding a horse along the side of the road.

So when the opportunity came for me to finally do this thing that I've always wanted, I jumped at it. From now on, every Saturday, I will give up 4-8 hrs of my day to groom, feed, clean and walk horses, zebras, mini horses, donkeys and zorses. A zorse is what you get when you breed a zebra and a horse (of course). It will be tough, but I can tell it will be worth it.

It's already helping me cope with work crap. There was a long time where I was consumed with my job. I would think about it at night and stress about it on the weekends, but not so much anymore. This blog helped a bit, in the sense that it gave me an outlet, but with the horses it's something different.

They've given me a new life outside of work. I've always had family and friends, my boyfriend, softball, painting... but nothing was really fulfilling. Until now. I'm not going to get all emotional about it, I mean I've only been there once but I can definitely tell that there's something special there. Something that's given me a new outlook on my life and what I want it to be.

I've kind of realized that my life is like an empty box (except for the chocolates). I can put whatever I want into my life, but if I only put one thing in... then that's all there is. I want to fill my life up with everything that makes me happy. Instead of being the only thing, now my job is one of many things. It doesn't seem as consuming as it used to be. Granted I have to work on that 'time management' thingy, but I think I will figure it out.

For example; It's 10:30pm on a Friday and I am blogging. There is also a pile of laundry sitting next to me, waiting to be folded.... and I just did the dishes.

Believe it or not, this is a good thing.

If I have to 'schedule' laundry, then I will have to schedule time to work on my portfolio. Which means I will have to get it done, because I will have no other time allotted in which to do it.

I guess only time will tell if my theory works, but I think so far so good.... I finally snapped a picture of the sign that I drew up a while back:

Been a bit busy...

My coworker is still gone. It doesn't look like she is coming back anytime too soon either... but that doesn't stop me from having nightmares about her return. Seriously. One morning, I woke up so upset because I thought that I had to sit at the damn table again. I was sweating. Every time I blinked, I saw her slouched at the desk, pointing at the dusty wicker chair. In my dream, I begged for her to switch with me, but she wouldn't. I looked to my boss and other coworker to help, but they wouldn't. Funny thing is that I bet that's exactly how it will happen when she does come back. IF she comes back. I'm hoping that she gets really comfortable on disability, that seams like something she would enjoy rather immensely. Plus the weather is nice now.

The slight downfall of her being gone is that we are pretty busy right now, and sometimes that one extra person would come in handy. It's just me and my other coworker handling the crazy. Dealing with my boss' mood swings. Stealing frightened looks at each other when she flips, then venting about the ridiculousness of it all later. Talking secretively about how we think she's either dating someone or drinking. (You have to just be there). Oh, and handling all the work too.

But overall I am pretty happy with my current work situation. I would rather be working straight through the day, with no breaks, than be where I was before. Hiding behind a pile of papers trying to look busy and hoping that my boss didn't spot me sitting there. Our busy office is a good sign that the economy is getting better too! Hopefully I will be out of there as soon as the other coworker decides come back to the office.
Oh! That reminds me:

I've finished the rendering on this finally! I know that you can't tell from this picture but the thing is huge. It's like 2.5' wide by 1.5' high, and there was a lot of detail, so it took a while. Now I can move on to something else. One of my projects in school required us to build a model. It turned out pretty neat, but it's all wood. So I am going to paint it... it shouldn't take long at all, but it will spruce up the portfolio a bit.

There is some other news too, but I'm not going to spill the beans yet. I have a phone call to make before I announce anything.... Oh, the anticipation is killing you isn't it?

Hooray for today

Today was a good day.... well, for me at least. Not so much for my co worker who left early because she is having surgery tomorrow that will put her out for at least a few weeks, if not more. But for me, it was good because while she is out, I get her desk.

Yeah, that's right! I get a desk.... I also get a phone (Uh? gasp!). I can make a phone call without hunching over my co worker's desk like I'm a stranger calling a cab. You know what else comes with the desk? A printer! Now, if I want to print something, I don't have to send it in an email to said coworker, then wait fifteen minutes until she decides she wants to print it. I will have more space on the desk. People will be able to see me without looking around a big pile of__ that my boss left on the table for me to take care of... Needless to say, while my coworker was nervous for her surgery, I was anxious. Anxious to get my butt out of the wicker lounge chair, and into a real desk chair. Where I can sit and watch the wicker chair collect dust.

It's almost like I am an actual employee.

Maybe now my boss will see how hard I work. As long as I can stay focused, my work should be coming to her twice as fast now that I can print things myself. More will be getting done too. I have to take over all that my coworker was "working on"... meaning all the things that she was supposed to work on. Like this huge schedule for this enormous house! She was supposedly putting it all together for the last week. When she showed me today though, she had done nothing to it. So I am taking it over, and I will do it right and I will do it in a timely manner.... and I will make sure my boss knows that I did it all.

Then I'm putting that sucker in my portfolio.

Speaking of which... I've been rendering: