For. The. Love.

Last Monday at work was busy. We had a huge presentation the following morning to get ready for, and my boss had waited until the last minute to work on this client's stuff. So, obviously there was a lot to be done, and we were working feverishly. Usually on Mondays, we workout with a trainer. Only one of my coworkers doesn't work out, and it's the girl that just had the neck surgery. On this particular Monday, I thought it was a bad idea to do the workout because of the work that needed to be done to prepare for the meeting. I was already figuring that I would be taking some work home with me. I voiced my opinion and my other coworker agreed that it probably wasn't a good idea for us to go.

My boss, however, told us that we can make it because we were almost done setting everything up. When the time came to leave the office for the workout, my boss said we were good to go. I felt relieved (and lucky) to have gotten mostly everything done. There was only one item than I emailed to myself to work on at home. So, we said goodbye to coworker #2 and we headed off to the workout. After an hour of sweating our balls off, we patted ourselves on the back, said goodbye and got into our cars.

When I got home, I ate a quick dinner then went upstairs to start on the "homework" that I had emailed myself. Realizing that I wouldn't be able to complete the work because I was missing some key things back at the office, I did as much as I could do and then put the work aside. I knew it wouldn't take long to get the rest done once I got to the office in the morning. It was about 9:30 at this point and I figured that, as long as I was on the computer, I might as well do some of my portfolio.

I opened photoshop, turned my I-pod on and searched for the file I had last worked on.

It was gone.

I tried again.

Still gone.

In fact, they were all gone! Every single file from my portfolio was not where I had put it. The whole folder was empty! All of my scans, all of my photoshopped images. All gone!

Cold sweat covered my whole body and a sick feeling crept into my stomach. I called my Dad over to the computer to see if he could help me find them. I thought that maybe there was some photoshop trick that I didn't know about. Like a game or something where photoshop hides your files from you while you search for them in a panic. Then when you are near the breaking point, they pop up and photoshop laughs and says, "I got you! Wasn't that fun?"

No.



We checked every file, every folder in every possible location on the computer... even those temporary ones with the funny names. Then I lost it. I found myself slumped on my bedroom floor in an uber-dramatic cry. I huffed to my boyfriend on the phone about how much work was lost. Then I started preparing to cry myself to sleep, when I heard my parents talking in the computer room. I popped my head in to see that they were still searching for my lost files. Awww...

My Dad swore there was still one last place to check, and my Mom was waiting patiently to try her trick. Mom won. She downloaded some flash drive recovery software, and we watched as file after file started magically appearing. Once they were re-saved, my Mom suggested that I check to make sure that I go them all. I opened one, opened another, then opened a third. Then called it good and went to bed.
(I still don't know if they've all been recovered, but at least I know for sure that I have 3...)

Tuesday.
Yes, only Tuesday. I got into the office ready to finish up the "homework" that I couldn't complete the night before. My boss was already there setting up the conference room. She sent me a text message the night before saying something about a note on my "desk" (wobbly table) to be taken care of first thing in the morning. Obviously, checking text messages was the furthest thing from my mind, when I was in the midst of a portfolio catastrophe, so I didn't see the message until I woke up.

I headed straight for my "desk" and found the note. However there was nothing to accompany the note. I read it again and looked around to see if maybe the note had been knocked off whatever it was referring to, but there was nothing there. I called out to my boss, "What is this note referring to?"
Boss: "Don't worry, I'M doing it. AND the girls stayed late last night to do all the work that YOU should have done!"
Me: "What? ...You guys came back to the office after the workout?? I didn't know we were going to do that."
Boss: "I CALLED you!"
Me: (looking through my phone) "I don't have a missed call though..."
Boss: "I left you a message!!". (imagine a really pissed off snake, just spitting the words out through very tightly clenched teeth)
Me: "But I don't have a voicemail either..."
Boss: "It only makes sense to call coworker #2, to see if she needed any help at the office. I mean she had A LOT left to do, so we came back to help!"
Me: " " (That's me, speechless) "I'm sorry, I never got anything from you."
Boss: "Whatever"

I was shaking at this point. I had never seen her in this mood, it was like... hatred.

So, coworker #2 decides to finally show up to the office, and I'm feeling pretty lousy at this point so, I turned to her and said, "Coworker #2, I am really sorry that you guys were here so late, I never got a -"
Boss: "YOUR VOICEMAIL CAME ON. I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE!"
Me: "I don't have anything though! I never got a call!"
Boss: "Well, then I don't know what's going on with your phone because I know I left you a message!" (seething, oily hatred spewing from her mouth)
Coworker #2: "Um... that happened to my boyfriend once before...?" (Thanks, coworker #2, good effort).

Boss goes back to the conference room, and coworker #2 and I exchange 'WTF?!' looks. I was shaking so bad that I could hardly type, and my brain was all foggy. I kept checking back through my phone thinking that maybe I missed something. But nope.
I have a Blackberry, and those of you who have one too, know that there is NO WAY you can get a missed call and not hear about it through 5 or 6 annoying icons. I was absolutely positive that I had never received a call, or was left a voicemail. I still am. I even checked with Verizon online and there is no record of a call or message from my boss. None.
The rest of Tuesday went on rather uneventfully, my boss and I just avoided any unnecessary communication and she seemed to be back to normal. Which isn't really saying much.

That night I had plans with my boyfriend, when I told him the story, he was upset that I let her treat me like that. I tried to explain the way my brain shuts down when people yell at me, but he wasn't buying it. He told me that I needed to just tell her the next day that ignoring a voicemail and leaving my coworkers to do all the work was not my M.O. He got me all fired up to go back the next day and say something to my boss.

I chickened out.

She was totally normal the next day, and wasn't treating me badly at all. There was still a little tension between us, but nothing to make me want to try and clear the air. I didn't get a chance alone with her either, and this wasn't something to do in front of other people. I told myself that it was water under the bridge, and to bring it up now would only be drudging up the past. Sadly, I knew I was just talking myself out of confronting her because I am terrified of my boss... I mean I couldn't even find a way to bring up the fact that while they were working in the office, I was working at home.

And so went the rest of the week. I had a busy weekend at the ranch, and then back to work on Monday. Which was fine, and so was Tuesday. Then yesterday came around and slapped my week in the face.

Last year, we quoted some fancy pulls for a client. They were quoted in the standard brass color. My boss didn't like this, and asked me to find out how much the nickel finish was. There were all these upcharges and minimums for the nickel finish, and my boss liked that even less. Flash forward to Wednesday (a year later). I am getting ready to order these fancy pulls when I notice that the finish on the autoCAD drawings is called out as polished nickel. I asked coworker #2, and she confirmed that my boss had recently told her that, "Those changed to polished nickel." Immediately my heart jumped into my throat. I wasn't sure why I hadn't been made aware of that change. If I made a mistake somewhere, I was bound to hear about it. I frantically searched through all my old paperwork. All I found was my notes from last year about the upcharges for the nickel finish, and how we stuck with brass.

My boss was out of town for the day but she called to check in. So, I hesitantly took the phone and began my schpeel about the callout on the drawings being wrong. She interrupted with, "Oh, I know. The standard color was the one we wanted. It will work fine".
Me: "Oh, okay that's good then."
Boss: "Yeah.. the standard is like the nickel or something."
Me: "Uh... no. It's brass, actually."
Boss: "Brass? I thought it was nickel? Call them back and ask for the nickel finish, and get a finish sample. I'll look at it when I come back." (*click)
Coworker #2: "SO, how'd it go?"
Me: "Um. Pretty good actually...? She didn't seem that upset. I just have to call and see if there is another standard, but I really don't think there is."

There wasn't.

It's always only been brass. Just like all my paperwork said. Still a little nervous about my boss getting angry, I looked around and found a source that would sell the same pulls for less. At least I could help alleviate some of the damage by finding a better deal on the upcharge, right?

WRONG!

This morning my boss came in the office like a thirsty bat. "WHAT'S THE FINISH?!"
Me: "Well, it's brass. That's the only standard they have. But-"
Boss: "No it's not! I distinctly remember they had a nickel standard! We wouldn't quote a brass!"
Me: "The reason we stuck with the brass was because the other finishes had upcharges and minimums."
Boss: "No, I don't think so!"
Me: (At the point where I should just try to show her my semi-solution because I can't reason with an unreasonable person) "Well, this other place will give us a better price so I am waiting for a quote."
Boss: "This should have been checked before the contract went out! Not after!!"
Me: "I didn't have anything telling me that the finish could possibly be wrong, and that I should check it out. I just happened to see that-"
Boss: "WE WOULDN'T QUOTE THAT FINISH! It doesn't make sense! These things need to be checked before we send contracts out!"
Me: "I don't have anything saying nickel. We kept it as the standard, so I don't know what would have made me check before-"
Boss: "WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK AND FORTH ABOUT THIS!!!" (Giant drooling ogre)

(... with one tooth)

I was so frustrated and angry and hurt. I knew this was not my fault, and I was not going to back down on this one! Both coworker #1 and #2 agreed that it wasn't my fault. I'm not in my boss' head to know what she is thinking, there was nothing to tell me that she thought the standard finish was different than it actually was. The only reason I would check, is if something had changed down the road. But 'standard' was all it ever was.

Luckily my boss had an appointment to go to, because I wasn't sure how long I would last sharing the same air as her. I immediately wrote my boyfriend an email, saying that I was done with this place. Finished portfolio or not, I had to start looking for a way out now. So, then I sent an email to an acquaintance of mine. He works for a large construction company, and had told me before that he would be more than willing to help me find some leads to get a new job.

He emailed right back, asked a few questions, then got right back again and said that he had already sent out a few emails and made a couple calls. In a matter of minutes.

I almost cried.

I'm not going to know right away if anything will come of this, but it just made me feel really good to know that there was a chance of freedom. It definitely made my heart a little lighter. The other good thing was that my boss came back in a slightly better mood. I showed her the quote I'd gotten back for the less expensive pulls, and she said that was fine to order.

After the way this week and the week before went, I was so ready to get home today. I could just feel the stress sitting in the various parts of my body, and I needed to unwind, big time. I stayed a little late because my boss has a meeting tomorrow morning, but I just kept telling myself that I only have one more day before the weekend. I kept that thought in my head as I made my way to my car, tomorrow is Friday, tomorrow is Friday... I piled all my stuff into the car and took a deep breath. Put the key in the ignition and reeeeer-reer-re-- click, click, click.



Forehead to steering wheel. For. The. Love. Of....!


(Good thing I just needed a jump)