Bold Moves, Baby Moves

It's 2015.  My oldest brother says that this is the year of "bold moves".... so, this should be interesting then.

I've been at my current place of employment for 3 years now.  I have about 14 remodel projects under my belt, 3 assistant designers and I still reside in my very own office.

My husband and I have been joyfully married for one year and 3 months.

I am now 17 weeks pregnant.

It's crazy to think that this 'once lost girl' will soon be a 'have it all together mommy'.... or will she?

Let's rewind a few months:  I got pregnant very easily.  I guess I'm blessed that way.  But the thing I didn't think about was how this would affect my job.  I simply didn't think that it would.  Women get pregnant all the time, they have babies, they work and live and have more babies.  

And then I was nauseous.  All. The. Time.  It was a hard secret to keep for those first fragile 12 weeks, but when it came time to spill the beans, I suddenly got really nervous.  I don't know what came over me, and when I spoke those two words; "I'm pregnant", to my bosses, I realized what it was.

They weren't happy for me.

I can still see their faces when they heard the news and I wonder what mine looked like.  They had the look of parents being told that their daughter is marrying a horrible boyfriend, mixed with an underlying acknowledgement that they are SUPPOSED to be happy for me.  Terrified smiles.  Stunned, frozen, silent.

I must have looked like a girl just crowned prom queen, only to get a bucket of pig's blood dumped on my head.

Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, my projects started to get taken away from me.  It was slow and sneaky, and if I hadn't been occupied by the baby news, I would have actually seen it coming.  Now, I'm sitting at work, writing this post because I don't have anything better to do.  On top of being bored... I'm actually ignored.  And totally avoided.  It's like I have some disease that nobody wants to catch.

In hindsight, I guess I should have known that this would happen.  Seriously, I can now say that I've seen a look of annoyance on their faces when I've left at 5:00 (and not 5:30 or 6:00).  I remember now the tone that I thought was 'joking' about not wanting to work on a Saturday, was actually a warning: if you don't continue to go above and beyond, we will kick you out.

It's just strange to me.  I have loved this place for years.  I love my work, my responsibilities, my co-workers and I love my bosses.  But, how do we come back from this?  I haven't done anything productive at work in over a month.  OVER A MONTH!  There hasn't been a real conversation between myself and one of the bosses since before Christmas.  How do you you see a person every day and never speak to them? 

So, here I am again.  A crossroads of life decisions... and this one's a doozy.  Baby Pluck is due July 1st.  I have just under 6 months before I'm a mommy.  6 months to either change things around here at work, or make the decision to leave.

If I leave, will I start my own company or join forces with another firm?