Getting stuff out

I really don't know what to say here, I just need to vent a little bit... or organize.. or drain.

I'm injured. I have been since a car accident over two years ago. It's not completely debilitating, but I am in pain pretty much throughout the day. Last Monday I got a recommendation from my doctor for a pretty serious surgery. It's a lot to think about and I'm trying not to do any thinking about it, until after the holidays.

Fat chance. I think about it everyday.

On top of that- I may be getting a job offer from the designers down the street. Maybe. I have a super secret meeting with them tonight after work. This may cause some problems with Perry, because they are clients and 'friends' of Perry and this showroom. Since the designers have mentioned having this conversation, I have gone through a range of thoughts about the potential job.

Sometimes I feel really bad and I can't imagine telling Perry that I am leaving. I think of how upset and hurt he may be. Not to mention what the ownership's response might be... I think it would come as a shock to them all. I wonder if there is a way I can slyly sneak out by combining it with the days out for surgery? Somehow make it seem like it's not as bad as it sounds.

But then on days like today, when Perry does something ass-hole-ish, I can't wait to leave. I have even thought about making sure he knows every time I'm pissed off at him, so that he may understand part of the reason I am leaving.

I know, that sounds too mean.