Yesterday, Perry and I were both cranky. I'll admit, I think I started it. I'm PMS-ing, slightly, and I think my responses were a bit too short... maybe I didn't smile enough. But Perry's responses to me were rude, angry and repetative. I couldn't wait to get out of here yesterday and I just hoped that today would be better. I was going into work today with a better attitude.
But then this happened:
Just a few minutes ago, I showed Perry an invoice that I wrote for one of our sales guys, and he commented on the fact that the client will be picking the material up. He said that it was never a good idea to send the client to our suppliers directly, this material should just be delivered, that's so stupid... on and on. I finally said, "Okay, Perry. Talk to our sales guy about it, I just wrote what he wanted me to write."
Perry responded with, "Well the invoice can't be changed now, Sweetie."
Oh good lord. He has no idea how close he came to getting the female fury. I calmly said, "Don't call me Sweetie." Then I got up and walked back down to my desk, leaving him alone at the table. Of course, once I got back to my desk I started to feel bad for my reaction. He was joking with the "Sweetie" thing and I got pissed... he was just trying to inform me of the right thing to do with the clients receiving material, and I got irritated. Damn my stupid compassionate side!
Since, I had a fax that needed to be sent, I walked back up there with a smile on my face, hoping to erase our last exchange. When I made it to the fax machine, Perry was walking towards his desk with a piece of stone in his hand. He was complaining about how the company who sent it, didn't mark the back. I mirrored his feelings and agreed that the name of the stone should be written on the back of the sample. Yay, we're agreeing on something.
He took a marker out of his desk drawer and, without a word, handed the marker and sample to me, sat back in his chair with his hands behind his head... and just stared at his computer screen.... You know what I heard in my head?... "Here, Sweetie, go ahead and mark this for me."
For fear of bashing him in the head with the stone, I slowly set the objects down next to the fax machine. I turned and walked softly back to my desk, slipped down in my chair and sat with papers in front of me, hands pressed to the cold granite desk top.
Just seconds later he headed out the door to an appointment. I released my palms, stood and walked back up to the fax machine, took a deep breath, picked up the marker... and chucked it at his empty chair. Then picked it up and threw it again. Damn. Piece of shit. Marker. Chair. DAMMIT!
I took another deep breath and wrote the name on the back of the sample.
I am now wondering how I'm going to get through the rest of the day. It's a good thing he's gone right now, I can only hope that he comes back late and stays out of my way... this would all be much easier if I had some work to do.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Croomie situation
Croomie told me yesterday that she is going to move in with her boyfriend at the end of November (I like to call her boyfriend, "Stupid"). She will let me keep the apartment, if I would like to, and if not, then Stupid will take over my part of the lease.
As a side note, I have no idea what Croomie sees in her boyfriend... I can hardly stand him and I wondered for a long time if he was actually that dumb. Then I heard from Old Co-worker #1 that Stupid got his "medical" Marijuanna license. So apparently, he's smoked himself retarded.
I wasn't heart-broken. I'm not attached to Croomie at all, in fact, I kind of dread being alone with her at the apartment. We are so different, that it's just awkward. So, it was actually sort of exciting for me to get the news.
My first thought was my brother. His roommate is moving out at the end of October, and as far as I know, he hasn't found anyone to move in with yet. My second thought was my long-time friend that has just moved back to San Diego. She's asked me forever to move in with her, if and when she moves back.
Family is first, so I called my brother last night. He wasn't 100% sold on the idea, as there are a few kinks to work out. But he said he would let me know in the next day or so... I guess he has a lead on a potential roommate.So, I guess I just wait to see who is going to end up as my next roommate....
Will it be Broomie or Froomie ????
Update, 9/29/11: My brother is meeting with his other potential roommate to go over a few things. This doesn't look good for me moving in with my brother... unless this girl is offended by the bachelor pad smell and stained carpets.
As a side note, I have no idea what Croomie sees in her boyfriend... I can hardly stand him and I wondered for a long time if he was actually that dumb. Then I heard from Old Co-worker #1 that Stupid got his "medical" Marijuanna license. So apparently, he's smoked himself retarded.
I wasn't heart-broken. I'm not attached to Croomie at all, in fact, I kind of dread being alone with her at the apartment. We are so different, that it's just awkward. So, it was actually sort of exciting for me to get the news.
My first thought was my brother. His roommate is moving out at the end of October, and as far as I know, he hasn't found anyone to move in with yet. My second thought was my long-time friend that has just moved back to San Diego. She's asked me forever to move in with her, if and when she moves back.
Family is first, so I called my brother last night. He wasn't 100% sold on the idea, as there are a few kinks to work out. But he said he would let me know in the next day or so... I guess he has a lead on a potential roommate.So, I guess I just wait to see who is going to end up as my next roommate....
Will it be Broomie or Froomie ????
Update, 9/29/11: My brother is meeting with his other potential roommate to go over a few things. This doesn't look good for me moving in with my brother... unless this girl is offended by the bachelor pad smell and stained carpets.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Five reasons why I'm keeping myself miserable
I’ve got to be honest with myself. This job is crap. I had my hopes set way too high from the beginning and I’ve been in denial for quite some time. My illusion disappeared along with the clientele. When we were busy, I thought how great it was going to be once I got the hang of our invoice and order system. Because, of course the next step would be to fulfill my destiny of, as my business cards reads; (Queue singing angels) design center consultant!
Wrong. I’m sitting here at work, writing a blog on how I’m going to find my career.
It seems that I’m getting frustrated on a daily basis with all the administrative stuff I am expected to do, and how my boss can sometimes treat me as a naïve little girl. I am tired of being on ‘Perry-Time’ (as I call it). I can’t do anything without his approval, and sometimes I can’t do anything at all. “Can I follow up with this designer?” I say. Then responds with something like, “No, I’ll call them next week.” Which never happens, and God forbid I call them, because I’m just ‘the help’ and Perry is the one who knows what’s going on.
Then it’s, “Don’t you think we should set up an appointment with this person ASAP?” and he says, “No. I need to get XY and Z information first, but right now I’m busy staring at my inbox because it confuses me.” Okay he doesn’t actually say that last part. I just stuck in there, because it seriously takes him twenty minutes to write a one sentence email, in which there and their are switched and the word ‘thought’ is spelled incorrectly. But the point is, that if isn’t his idea, then it’s a bad one. His sloth-like responses and “excusable” neglect have lost us a number of jobs… though he would never admit it. Sometimes he keeps me in the dark about things, and it feels intentional. Like, he doesn’t want me to know because he wants to be the only person with this knowledge, the only person to speak to the designer and the only person whose advice and information holds any value.
So why am I still here? Well, I will tell you. First, I have lots of doctor appointments that make me miss a lot of work. It’s easier to miss time here, than it would be at a highly competitive design firm.
Second, the following two sentences are lies: (1) I am an in-house designer at a tile showroom and I have designed kitchens and bathrooms. (2) I know more than your other prospects about tile and stone because I specialize in it. I am still learning. I don’t think I have the knowledge that a firm would expect me to have from working here. I know that the longer I stay here, the more I will learn and the more chances I will have at doing some design work.
Third, I have no idea where I would go. I have heard one place that is hiring, and I am submitting my resume this weekend. Other than that, all I have heard is that it is still scary and slow out there.
Fourth, there is no competition here. I AM the only designer. If someone needs help, they automatically get sent to me. Yay.
Now the fifth and final reason is probably the biggest. I am constantly given glimmers of hope that this will turn into something that I can be proud of. Just two days ago, Perry said to someone, “Pluck is not a secretary.” Now, he didn’t actually say what I was, if not a secretary, but I think I made my ‘title’ pretty clear after the person replied, “Administrative assistant?” (insert spewing fumes and eyeballs of fire).
Idiot.
Perry also said the same day that he was going to start getting me out on jobsites. This is excellent. Even if I am only there just to see how something was installed, or to learn how to measure square footage, it still looks great on a resume. Who doesn’t want to hire a girl that can take your place on a jobsite if needed? It would also provide more face-time with general contractors and designers. They would then know that I have knowledge of the project and that their questions can be directed to me.
Also, the ownership is finally finishing the website. Finally. AND one of the guys working on the site is totally on my side. He is the only one who tells his clients that I am THE in-house designer, he is writing my consultation fees into contracts and he is specifically putting ‘design services offered’ on our website…. for the whole world to see.
Having gone through all of that, it’s clear that it would be worth-while for me to stick it out for a few more months and see what happens. So, when I get to the point where I don’t have a doctor appointment every other day, I can take another look at my position. If I am still stuck behind the desk with nothing to show for my time here, then I am gone.
P.S. I mentioned submitting my resume to a firm. The post has been up on Craigslist for about a week, I may be too late, but I am going to do it for ‘practice’. If they don’t like what they see, then fine. If they do, then I will go in for an interview (ahem… “Doctor appointment”). If they don’t like me after the interview, then fine… at least I’ve had practice interviewing, and my name is out there. If they offer me the job…. well, then….
Wrong. I’m sitting here at work, writing a blog on how I’m going to find my career.
It seems that I’m getting frustrated on a daily basis with all the administrative stuff I am expected to do, and how my boss can sometimes treat me as a naïve little girl. I am tired of being on ‘Perry-Time’ (as I call it). I can’t do anything without his approval, and sometimes I can’t do anything at all. “Can I follow up with this designer?” I say. Then responds with something like, “No, I’ll call them next week.” Which never happens, and God forbid I call them, because I’m just ‘the help’ and Perry is the one who knows what’s going on.
Then it’s, “Don’t you think we should set up an appointment with this person ASAP?” and he says, “No. I need to get XY and Z information first, but right now I’m busy staring at my inbox because it confuses me.” Okay he doesn’t actually say that last part. I just stuck in there, because it seriously takes him twenty minutes to write a one sentence email, in which there and their are switched and the word ‘thought’ is spelled incorrectly. But the point is, that if isn’t his idea, then it’s a bad one. His sloth-like responses and “excusable” neglect have lost us a number of jobs… though he would never admit it. Sometimes he keeps me in the dark about things, and it feels intentional. Like, he doesn’t want me to know because he wants to be the only person with this knowledge, the only person to speak to the designer and the only person whose advice and information holds any value.
So why am I still here? Well, I will tell you. First, I have lots of doctor appointments that make me miss a lot of work. It’s easier to miss time here, than it would be at a highly competitive design firm.
Second, the following two sentences are lies: (1) I am an in-house designer at a tile showroom and I have designed kitchens and bathrooms. (2) I know more than your other prospects about tile and stone because I specialize in it. I am still learning. I don’t think I have the knowledge that a firm would expect me to have from working here. I know that the longer I stay here, the more I will learn and the more chances I will have at doing some design work.
Third, I have no idea where I would go. I have heard one place that is hiring, and I am submitting my resume this weekend. Other than that, all I have heard is that it is still scary and slow out there.
Fourth, there is no competition here. I AM the only designer. If someone needs help, they automatically get sent to me. Yay.
Now the fifth and final reason is probably the biggest. I am constantly given glimmers of hope that this will turn into something that I can be proud of. Just two days ago, Perry said to someone, “Pluck is not a secretary.” Now, he didn’t actually say what I was, if not a secretary, but I think I made my ‘title’ pretty clear after the person replied, “Administrative assistant?” (insert spewing fumes and eyeballs of fire).
Idiot.
Perry also said the same day that he was going to start getting me out on jobsites. This is excellent. Even if I am only there just to see how something was installed, or to learn how to measure square footage, it still looks great on a resume. Who doesn’t want to hire a girl that can take your place on a jobsite if needed? It would also provide more face-time with general contractors and designers. They would then know that I have knowledge of the project and that their questions can be directed to me.
Also, the ownership is finally finishing the website. Finally. AND one of the guys working on the site is totally on my side. He is the only one who tells his clients that I am THE in-house designer, he is writing my consultation fees into contracts and he is specifically putting ‘design services offered’ on our website…. for the whole world to see.
Having gone through all of that, it’s clear that it would be worth-while for me to stick it out for a few more months and see what happens. So, when I get to the point where I don’t have a doctor appointment every other day, I can take another look at my position. If I am still stuck behind the desk with nothing to show for my time here, then I am gone.
P.S. I mentioned submitting my resume to a firm. The post has been up on Craigslist for about a week, I may be too late, but I am going to do it for ‘practice’. If they don’t like what they see, then fine. If they do, then I will go in for an interview (ahem… “Doctor appointment”). If they don’t like me after the interview, then fine… at least I’ve had practice interviewing, and my name is out there. If they offer me the job…. well, then….
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