10:39 am
There's something to be said about sitting alone in the office on your last day. I just don't know what it is.
Perry has scheduled appointments for this morning, and a golf game (seriously) for this afternoon. I haven't seen him yet, though I did speak with him for a moment on the phone. He sounded irritated.
Me too, Perry. Me too.
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Friday, March 30, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Two Weeks
A fortnight. 336 hours. 14 days.
Last Friday, I gave Perry my two week notice. Two weeks will go by quick. In three days, I will have only one week left. It seems unfair... I would beg for more days, if I were in Perry's shoes. I'm only leaving him with two weeks.
336 hours to get the work ducks in a row, try to hire somebody, or just get used to the fact that I'm leaving. Now, as I write my daily notes, I write them as if they are for somebody else to read. I'm using first and last names and detailing every step, because in 336 hours, I won't be around to explain.
I just organized my pen drawer. Pens, post-it's, a calculator, business cards and folders, all arranged so that the one coming behind me will find what's needed. It was sad. I'm sad at how soon it will be turned over, and no longer mine. In 336 hours, this big granite desk will no longer be mine.
Poor Perry.
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14 days, until I can say that I officially have a new job. 14 days is a long time. 14 nights, I can't sleep. 10 work days that I try not to look so happy.
I've already visited a job site. I've already done some AutoCAD. My new bosses are already lining people up for me to meet. They're getting projects ready for me to start, and I have to wait 14 days until I can.
There's talk about an office that might be mine, but 14 days before I know if it will be. Design interns to hire as assistants, and14 days until I can be called 'a boss'.
... 14 days until I can be called an interior designer.
14 days is a long time. 336 hours... Two whole weeks.
Last Friday, I gave Perry my two week notice. Two weeks will go by quick. In three days, I will have only one week left. It seems unfair... I would beg for more days, if I were in Perry's shoes. I'm only leaving him with two weeks.
336 hours to get the work ducks in a row, try to hire somebody, or just get used to the fact that I'm leaving. Now, as I write my daily notes, I write them as if they are for somebody else to read. I'm using first and last names and detailing every step, because in 336 hours, I won't be around to explain.
I just organized my pen drawer. Pens, post-it's, a calculator, business cards and folders, all arranged so that the one coming behind me will find what's needed. It was sad. I'm sad at how soon it will be turned over, and no longer mine. In 336 hours, this big granite desk will no longer be mine.
Poor Perry.
----------------------------------------------
14 days, until I can say that I officially have a new job. 14 days is a long time. 14 nights, I can't sleep. 10 work days that I try not to look so happy.
I've already visited a job site. I've already done some AutoCAD. My new bosses are already lining people up for me to meet. They're getting projects ready for me to start, and I have to wait 14 days until I can.
There's talk about an office that might be mine, but 14 days before I know if it will be. Design interns to hire as assistants, and14 days until I can be called 'a boss'.
... 14 days until I can be called an interior designer.
14 days is a long time. 336 hours... Two whole weeks.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
lick it and stick it
I had been staring at the flashing cursor on this blank page for a long time before my fingers finally touched the keyboard. There's so much I want to say, but I feel as though I need to sort it out before putting my roller-coaster thoughts down.
There I go, staring at the cursor again. ...
Marketing, Journalism, non-profit, interior design... a week ago, I would have said that I was completely lost and feeling like a floundering duck. Five days ago, I would say that I want to go into the non-profit sector. Two days ago, I would have told someone that my new path was marketing and journalism and that I was going back to school.
Yesterday. Yesterday, I grabbed at an opportunity within the interior design industry, and today I'm still hanging on. I don't know what this opportunity will provide... it may pan out to be nothing, a whisper in a breeze, or it could be my new future.
The point is that things are changing again... and I feel good. Not fantastic, but better. I feel like I've finally made a decision to move because the stillness was suffocating. I'm going to stir the dust that's settled, puff my cheeks and blow a new path.
I don't know where it's going yet, but it's going. I'm 26. I'm not old, but I'm also not a 22 year old college grad. In exactly 3 years from now, I'll be tip-toeing my way to my 30th birthday. Or shall I say dragging my feet? If I'm not 100% settled by then, it's fine... but at least I won't be statically unsettled anymore.
So there it is. I've been a roller-coaster without a track, and now I've moistened a finger in preparation to turn the page. All I can do now is keep my momentum up and press the finger to the fibers.
There I go, staring at the cursor again. ...
Marketing, Journalism, non-profit, interior design... a week ago, I would have said that I was completely lost and feeling like a floundering duck. Five days ago, I would say that I want to go into the non-profit sector. Two days ago, I would have told someone that my new path was marketing and journalism and that I was going back to school.
Yesterday. Yesterday, I grabbed at an opportunity within the interior design industry, and today I'm still hanging on. I don't know what this opportunity will provide... it may pan out to be nothing, a whisper in a breeze, or it could be my new future.
The point is that things are changing again... and I feel good. Not fantastic, but better. I feel like I've finally made a decision to move because the stillness was suffocating. I'm going to stir the dust that's settled, puff my cheeks and blow a new path.
I don't know where it's going yet, but it's going. I'm 26. I'm not old, but I'm also not a 22 year old college grad. In exactly 3 years from now, I'll be tip-toeing my way to my 30th birthday. Or shall I say dragging my feet? If I'm not 100% settled by then, it's fine... but at least I won't be statically unsettled anymore.
So there it is. I've been a roller-coaster without a track, and now I've moistened a finger in preparation to turn the page. All I can do now is keep my momentum up and press the finger to the fibers.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Un-stuck Pluck
I wrote a post a few days ago, which I read back to myself this morning and quickly deleted. It was a little Negative Nancy, and that's not the vibe I want to portray here. Things in my life are slowly getting figured out and though I do get frustrated at the snail-pace, I'm happy that I'm reaching some conclusions.
This Saturday will be my first day 'working' for the designers down the street. I'm not going to get paid for it, but I'm thinking of my time there as an investment. It's not like I get paid on Saturdays anyway. My goal is to get a more 'hands-on' experience in interior design, obviously my first experience with it was not so good... I worked for a crazy lady. So, while I'm still working for Fancy Tile Showroom, I'll be able to figure out if this industry is the place for me once and for all.
There are some things scheduled for the next few weekends, but eventually I would like to get into a routine of an every-other Saturday trade-off between the designers and the ranch. Obviously, I would need the occasional Saturday to myself, and then it's just a matter of which thing I can skip out on for that weekend.
In addition to going to the ranch every-other Saturday, I will try to volunteer there for only half a day. So, at least I will have the better part of the afternoon/evening to myself. This will be hard to get the owner of the ranch to understand, but it's got to happen.
See? I'm not completely stuck.
P.S. I'm an Auntie now, and I have to set a good example for my little nephew one day.
This Saturday will be my first day 'working' for the designers down the street. I'm not going to get paid for it, but I'm thinking of my time there as an investment. It's not like I get paid on Saturdays anyway. My goal is to get a more 'hands-on' experience in interior design, obviously my first experience with it was not so good... I worked for a crazy lady. So, while I'm still working for Fancy Tile Showroom, I'll be able to figure out if this industry is the place for me once and for all.
There are some things scheduled for the next few weekends, but eventually I would like to get into a routine of an every-other Saturday trade-off between the designers and the ranch. Obviously, I would need the occasional Saturday to myself, and then it's just a matter of which thing I can skip out on for that weekend.
In addition to going to the ranch every-other Saturday, I will try to volunteer there for only half a day. So, at least I will have the better part of the afternoon/evening to myself. This will be hard to get the owner of the ranch to understand, but it's got to happen.
See? I'm not completely stuck.
P.S. I'm an Auntie now, and I have to set a good example for my little nephew one day.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Spinning
So it's 2012, decision-making time. I refuse to let another year go to waste. But I'm having trouble figuring out where to turn next. It's like I'm standing in a room with a million doors and I can open any one I want. But they all look potentially awesome, so which one do I choose?
I have no freaking clue.
I am still in a little bit of a limbo regarding potential surgery and the potential new design job. The surgery thing is too long to go into- basically, it may or may not happen. The job prospect is a little more tangled... but then again, maybe not.
So here's the deal: The designers down the street would like for me to intern, at no pay, for an undisclosed number of months before coming on 'full time' (it's under 40 hrs/week) at the same pay-rate I am making now. If I had a sizable savings, this wouldn't be a problem. I would look at it as an investment. But I do not have a sizable savings. In fact, I could stand to make MORE money, not none at all. So, unfortunately, it's like going backwards in my financial state, but potentially forward in my career path (I say potentially forward, because as you've read in my 'Elite' blog entry, I don't know if interior design is my path anymore).
Basically I need to tell them, that I just can't afford to not get paid. I just can't. Now, that should end the conversation. Should. But I really don't know what they are going to say to that. They may argue, and try to change my mind... or they may agree to just pay me right out of the gate.
There won't be any mind-changing on this, so the only thing that would throw me is if they decide to pay me right away.
So you ask, "Why would that throw you, Pluck?"
My answer is, that it shouldn't, but I am not 100% thrilled about this job. Partly... well, mostly.. because of my unsureness about being a designer. These guys would be investing in me, assuming that I am going to stick around forever. They've told me that. So, I would be putting myself in a position where I would potentially be 'stuck' again in a job that doesn't make me happy, for fear of hurting, or upsetting someone who believed in me.
BUT, because I haven't decided on completely changing my career path quite yet, I need to get a new design job to see if that flares up my interest again.
I have a couple friends who have mentioned one designer, in particular, who owns her own firm. She is up-and-coming, been in the magazines and these friends seem to like her. I met her once, and I wasn't too thrilled with her. I was told that she is just shy and she seems rude at first, but she will warm up.
This scares the poo out of me. I get flashbacks to that psycho lady I worked for, and I don't want to go through that again. But, maybe my friends are right about her, and this would be the job that would help me decide if I stick to design or go somewhere else. But again, the flashback stabs me in the brain, because what if she makes me hate it that much more, simply because she isn't nice, works for herself and won't let me do anything?!
Do you see how this is a horrid, cyclical, confusing situation?
I know I am not doing my 'Versus' very well right now.... ugh!
Okay.
Pluck VS. Designers down the street.
I need to first make an appointment to see them and tell them that I cannot intern for free. IF they say that they will pay me right away, then I can tell them about my surgery... no future employer wants an employee who will be around for two months, then potentially gone for two months after that.
I have no freaking clue.
I am still in a little bit of a limbo regarding potential surgery and the potential new design job. The surgery thing is too long to go into- basically, it may or may not happen. The job prospect is a little more tangled... but then again, maybe not.
So here's the deal: The designers down the street would like for me to intern, at no pay, for an undisclosed number of months before coming on 'full time' (it's under 40 hrs/week) at the same pay-rate I am making now. If I had a sizable savings, this wouldn't be a problem. I would look at it as an investment. But I do not have a sizable savings. In fact, I could stand to make MORE money, not none at all. So, unfortunately, it's like going backwards in my financial state, but potentially forward in my career path (I say potentially forward, because as you've read in my 'Elite' blog entry, I don't know if interior design is my path anymore).
Basically I need to tell them, that I just can't afford to not get paid. I just can't. Now, that should end the conversation. Should. But I really don't know what they are going to say to that. They may argue, and try to change my mind... or they may agree to just pay me right out of the gate.
There won't be any mind-changing on this, so the only thing that would throw me is if they decide to pay me right away.
So you ask, "Why would that throw you, Pluck?"
My answer is, that it shouldn't, but I am not 100% thrilled about this job. Partly... well, mostly.. because of my unsureness about being a designer. These guys would be investing in me, assuming that I am going to stick around forever. They've told me that. So, I would be putting myself in a position where I would potentially be 'stuck' again in a job that doesn't make me happy, for fear of hurting, or upsetting someone who believed in me.
BUT, because I haven't decided on completely changing my career path quite yet, I need to get a new design job to see if that flares up my interest again.
I have a couple friends who have mentioned one designer, in particular, who owns her own firm. She is up-and-coming, been in the magazines and these friends seem to like her. I met her once, and I wasn't too thrilled with her. I was told that she is just shy and she seems rude at first, but she will warm up.
This scares the poo out of me. I get flashbacks to that psycho lady I worked for, and I don't want to go through that again. But, maybe my friends are right about her, and this would be the job that would help me decide if I stick to design or go somewhere else. But again, the flashback stabs me in the brain, because what if she makes me hate it that much more, simply because she isn't nice, works for herself and won't let me do anything?!
Do you see how this is a horrid, cyclical, confusing situation?
I know I am not doing my 'Versus' very well right now.... ugh!
Okay.
Pluck VS. Designers down the street.
I need to first make an appointment to see them and tell them that I cannot intern for free. IF they say that they will pay me right away, then I can tell them about my surgery... no future employer wants an employee who will be around for two months, then potentially gone for two months after that.
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