RE: Carmen

I got an email today from a friend that mirrored my own recent career frustrations. He and I wrote breifly about feeling "blah" and "questioning the point of your existence". We both have a feeling that we should be doing more with our lives, than just working to work.

I know I'm not currently leaving a dent in the world. My days are so robotic and I feel as though there is no meaning behind them. I could do, and be, so much more.

I'm not regretting anything, nor am I complaining about being employed at this company. I'm simply questioning where my next step should be. Which direction I should go, and what I am truly meant to be doing on this Earth.

I have been meaning to write a list of everything that moves me, all my passions, and then see what connections I can make between them. I might have to create a career, rather than following a path that was created before me.

I emailed this thought to my friend who told me that he expects a list from me tomorrow, and he will share his own. So, here's my list:

Art: Painting and crafting
Animal rescues and animal charity
Design (though my interest in this has faded a lot recently)
Furniture and furniture refinishing
Antiques
Writing
Reading
Organic farming
Gardening
Cooking


One thing that I have seriously considered (and even kind of started) is painting for charity. Like a certain percentage of the proceeds would go to charities, like breast cancer and animal welfare. The only thing I have done to start this is gathered a couple images and ideas to put onto canvas… I haven’t actually put anything down yet, for lack of time.

I would also love to write a book. I have no idea what I would write about, because I don’t have an interesting story in mind. I think that’s why I started my blog, because I figured that I would be writing about my own journey… but it’s no New York Times Best Seller … yet.

I used to think that I could make a living refinishing furniture and restoring or selling antiques. But the refinishing thing proved to be time-consuming and you kind of have to do it right, in a workshop, in order to get a quality product. Also dealing antiques implies that you have knowledge of old things. All I know is that they smell really weird and they look cool.

Furniture design was one thing I thought I wanted to do, too. I even started sketching, but I’d have to actually build it or find somebody who would build it for me. I don’t have any founds to buy material or machinery to do this.

You know those little flower shops? Not the stands, but the small shops? I think it would be cool to own one of those too. But I am not sure how passionate I am about that.

So, we'll see what I can come up with from this list. Maybe I'll think of something awesome if I keep brain-storming. Oh, and our email thread has a subject line of 'Carmen' because I was inquiring about a specific tile called Carmen, before we branched off into questioning the purpose of life... for some reason, I just think this is interesting.

Broomie it is, update to post from 9/27

So, it takes a special person to appreciate my awkward ways... which was going to make finding a new roommate especially difficult. The friend I was hoping to live with hasn't found a job and with my Brother not able to give me a definite answer, I was forced to post the following classified online:

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Female roommate needed to share my two bedroom, two bath apartment (I have the master bedroom).

My current roommate is moving out at the end of November to live with her boyfriend.Rent is super inexpensive, $660.00 NOT including cable and electricity.

The apartment is West of the 5, just off the freeway and there's a Vons right across the street.There is a washer and dryer in the unit, but don't be fooled... it doesn't work. But there is on-site laundry! There is one parking spot, which would be yours. The landlord did not provide a remote to get into the parking lot, my current roomie was going to take care of this, but she never did. Obviously, we can get one easily, it's not a big deal, just thought you should know.

I work full time and spend a lot of nights at my boyfriend's house, so you would have a lot of space away from me. Though, I'm pretty cool so you might be sad when I'm gone. I am really clean though, I don't leave messes and I wash my dishes, sweep, dust and all that jazz.

If you have a pet, they are welcome. Unless your cat is an ass and/or unnaturally loud, or your dog craps all over the place. There is a weight limit on the pets in the complex, I think it's like ten or fifteen pounds. So, a Golden Retreiver is probably not a good idea, unless they are super quiet and you make friends with the neighbors... I'm partial to cats, but I don't have one. My boyfriend says that I'm not allowed to get one. I'm rambling.


Let me know if you have any questions.

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I wasn't sure if anyone was actually going to respond, but I figured that if anyone did, they would probably be perfect for me.


Within an hour (yes, only an hour) I got an email. She was perfect! I could tell that she had a great sense of humor and an actual personality- sorry Croomie. So after a few email exchanges I was excited to have her come look at the apartment.


I tried to get Croomie's schedule for the next few days, figuring it would be weird to have someone looking at the place while she's there, but she wouldn't give me anything to work with. She was pretty short and annoying about all of it. Obviously she didn't want to move out, and would rather I just get lost- but she gave me the option of staying or going fromt he beginning.


The next morning, I woke to 3 text messages from my Brother:


"I think I need you as a roommate afterall."


"You can have the master bedroom"

"Also, I have a juicer."


The juicer was a plus, but he didn't need that to sell me on the idea; my brother needs me, so Broomie it is. I just had to wait for his 100% confirmation, then break the sad news to "The-Possibly-Perfect-Future-Roomie"...


Bummer. It could have been love.

And now I have to move all my shit out. Damn!


*UPDATE 10/14/11
I am starting to get sad about leaving the Delmartment, so I'm going to make a huge Cons list to make myself feel better:

1. Croomie and Stupid take up the living room all the time. Forcing me to sit in my bedroom with the door closed.
2. Croomie's cat. Not nice.
3. It's always hot in there, and Croomie won't leave the windows open.
4. I think the refrigerator is on the fritz.
5. The landlord really sucks!
6. Sometimes it takes me 3-5 minutes to walk to my car, because I had to park down the street.
7. Loud neighbors that I yell at for singing and/or drinking on the street outside my window.
8. Bees die there.
9. My toilet runs non-stop.
10. The washer and dryer in the unit is a big, fat tease.